|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
sidestepit never felt so good as when
we sat around our own doubts
and looked at each other through
their purple haze.
i saw a life then, inside a...
no. fuck it. the truth died.
my life held it once, it really did,
but a thought, a single thought
blocked out all others and shades of grey
covered me and then you.
you never forgave me.
once was green, and a girl fell in love
then they lived in a world of their own making
which slowly fell around them. bad
desicions and craftsmanship.
a single thought and it blew away.
i could disgust a person in more ways than one,
there are a million things i could do
right this very moment
but i'll sidestep the problem
and let it all roll by in masked indifference.
i told myself not to look.
now i'm stuck inside out
just waiting for the right moon;
something bigger to show me the way.
isn't that just...?
no. theres no words.
a disappointment, that's what it was.
i wish you would look a little harder,
maybe a little a longer, then i could
feel satisfaction. while they chase and scramble
i will stay here, oblivious.
such a sweet thing could rot my teeth,
instead my spirit dies just a little
just enough of you, to find me lost
just a small favour in a sea of hopelessness
just all this bullshit piling up in order to ignore
the sweet thing turning sour in my mouth.
it's not going to happen, is it?
no. i didn't suppose there were words.
radiancewhere did the starlight go?
tin cans rattling, cards flashing
all different colours
but i just want to know
truth in a lie, where did it come from?
the reason behind this life
or liveliness in the scent of flowers
just because you picked them for me.
stumble to and fro, knocks and blows,
punch-drunk but not loved, not in such a way
that permits one to fall and pick it up again
with blessed little bites and bruises, instead
i sit in a bed, unmoving.
undesired. a precious gem hidden in rock
that no one sees but i feel naked, those
eyes that cut into my flesh. unnerve me.
lie to me.
i awoke this morning to the shape of a shudder
swift in the morning light, nestling
in the lines under my eyes.
and the starlight; beauty shone in it's radiance.
kiss boyssmall drop of honey
to make my lips sweeter
chase after the best prize ever
all about determination
chicken little touching too far
up that creamy white thigh
round the corner, trouble's a brewing
whos scared? i'm not
just a boy, just a girl, playing a game
give us the name
of all the scaredy cats who left this place
when they found out
just how far you had to go.
didnt know how much it would hurt.
we'll make a list and then burn it up
in the fire of our fun, of our love,
while holding each other just like kids,
little buttons of life who don't know
a goddam thing
he squeezed my hand and underneath too
my skirt rode up like crazy but it didn't
seem to bother him
flesh on flesh; touch and go
small drop of honey and a killer of a chase
then maybe i could kiss boys too
Monsterplease, come inside
the warmth in the room
could help me, or you.
think we both have the chills.
got them yesterday
when it moved again
the fragility scared me a little
but it's power over me, well,
that is strength i didn't know
it's funny how fear can take hold
bring everything you never wanted to imagine
into the curve of a belly
so small, and yet...
it strikes terror in my heart.
and i couldn't picture it's face if i tried
but i know the shape of it's clothes well enough
bruiseif the pieces that you just shattered,
and sent crashing to the floor,
could express a truth or meaning in this,
i reckon it would be worth it.
the words escaped your mouth in no line, but
a confused spiel of rage and anger, like a bullet,
hitting me so hard, indenting the shock into my skin
and here i was, thinking that although i had tripped,
fallen a little, i could get back up, keep on going.
no more; i'm bruised and beaten, gone.
we are dead now, a collapsed party.
funny word, as if it were all good times.
my oh my, i am
hurt. so hurt.
it hurts to breathe, it hurts to live
and you can't know, you won't help.
and although i am straying from all this,
with blood on my hands and tears in my eyes
i manage to sit back up again and reach inside my own heart.
a bloody affair, that proves nothing.
i have nothing to show for all of this except,
you will be sorely missed.
bedside manneroh shit.
we've hit a dry spell;
the burn stopped. fizzled,
that's what it did, the fire drying everthing up,
hold on, i'll sweep them away,
it should be that easy.
finger fidgeting with flames and foolish
thoughts about terms of endearment
and how i know the time is right for me
wish i really knew.
i feel like im lying on a table
with lights, faces, fingers,
poking at me, checking my body
making sure the time is right.
you feel so far away from that place;
the desicion is all on me; the pressure
of a man's cold fingers pressing on my chest
assessing my heart, the depth of my love,
and seeing, if that much really is enough.
is it enough for me?
is it even there?
time and place, so crucial
to a thing of this magnitude.
i am thing, you are it, we are us,
and i have to tell you, exactly,
absoulutely, that i
just. don't. know.
but i'm sorry. i know my
bedside manner is a little uncertain,
but i'm getting there.
and that's the best i can hope for.
The Ultimatethe hand shakes.
it's late at night and one would think
and yet i can't.
beliefs have shattered, pieces falling into other places.
what can i do but write? what can i do but
pick and pick at all the intricacies of the nothingness
i live in.
the life lost
oh how the cliche laughs at me
and mocks the tears that flow freely
down the face i thought i knew.
but all the words are dried up now.
but i can find hope in this
in the way i close my eyes to make it go away
and in the way i shudder at all the thoughts
in the way the hand shakes.
if i can still feel...
it is only the ultimate sensation that i fear,
the one of death in all parts.
Discovery- paper thoughtsor shift. i suppose it means the same thing.
language bounces in my dried-up mind
i feel soaked, wrung, hung out to dry
left in the ambiguous wind
have you ever been left in such a place as this?
the air is so warm and sticky
with recycled philosophies on life
that click with names and words that attach themselves to my skin
but they don't matter
nothing is made, there is nothing to hold
grasp at anything; a thought, a reason, a hand
that could hold yours back
and bring comfort into a life without
thought and reason.
look for it, try to grab it through the sea of
absoulutely nothing at all.
the season turned, but i did not.
i made no great discovery;
after all the work, the pain
all there is paper thoughts that mark a
love or solid beliefs or anything
that could make a human being
want to discover more.
i can only write it down.
theres no more than that.
Hey YouHey you.
With the perfect smile,
Even if it hasn't been seen
In a little (or long) while.
I hope you're feeling okay.
And I think you're
Doing really great today;
You are one less day away
From your perfect tomorrow.
Peter Pan EnvyWe molded pirate ships
from heavy storm clouds,
flags puffed up
and scooped out
like handfuls of sand
while the car windows
steamed in the cold.
You told me stories
of a boy in green
and his war with
the hooked man,
said they took
those like us
to the first star on the right
and straight on to morning.
You made me believe
and when life got hard--
mom hopped up on pills,
nights filled with demons--
I breathed wishes
to be stolen away.
No pirate ever darkened my stoop
with his wayward compass
or water-stained maps;
no fairy ever left glitter
smeared on my skin
like good dreams.
I look to the sky
when the wind blows
and hold my breath
with his name on my tongue
all the same.
SeptemberThe summer was so hot
the dogs stuck to the sidewalks
with the newspapers
and the black metal cans
everyone left waiting on the curb.
You could smell it
in the glass pitchers
on table tops,
and the sheets that never
dried on the clothes lines;
the canvas beach bags
mothers dragged wearily
across the sand
and the ice cream trucks
melting across the highways.
Children felt it open
up the windows at night
and find a corner
of the bed to smother,
while fathers baited it on hooks
or mowed it down
in flat, dry stripes
as if begging each other
And the crickets just hummed
beneath the corn silk
and the dry mouth
daring the cats to play
hide and seek -
searching for September.
thirstYou tell me to breathe in
the scent of my tea:
Apple Cinnamon Spice,
it is crisp and infusing
the aroma into my lips.
Honey coasts along my spoon,
apple biting into its
golden flavor. Cinnamon bursts
forth for a brief moment and I am
Note to SelfDate a librarian; they'll read you until your spine falls apart, and still love every page. They'll underline your highlights, your endless seas of profound poetry, as if they've mistaken your manatee appearance for a mermaid. They'll hang off the cliff of your chapter 15 and dive into the next page as if you're about to reveal what they've been looking for. And when they don't find it, they'll tear out your words letter by letter with a hush, asking you oh so sweetly to stay quiet. Finally, they'll bind your broken spine with tape and set you on the shelf for misplaced books until they forget you were ever there, but they won't be done with you. They'll never be done with you; even when it seems your pages, your rib cage and heart, is filled with nothing but dust.
Stormy nightPouring rain
Just another night
In this sad existence
The rain feels refreshing
The darkness is comforting
And they bring a smile
To my melancholic face
I am one with the night
One with the storm
Standing under the streetlight
Waiting for life to happen
More to Come, More to LoveMore to come
More to love
More potbellies bulging seductively
More love handles to lovingly handle
More expanding muffintops to nibble
More inches on the measuring tape
More pounds on the scale
More softening fat bottoms to sit upon
More comfortable living
More people becoming fluffier everyday
More size acceptance
More tubby tolerance
More self-loving wonders
More deliciously sinful food to enjoy
More freedom from guilt and shame
More liberation of libidos
More opening of minds
More unshackling of hearts
More release from constraints
More living large
More emancipation of bodies
More sleeping in
More breakfast in bed
More letting oneself go
More unbuttoning of pants
More flab enveloping abs
More thickening of thighs
More softening of faces
More doubling of chins
More dimpling of cheeks
More fine fat rolls
More cinnamon rolls
More buttery dinner rolls
More swiss chocolate rolls
More ice cream
More biscuits and gravy
More bread and
flinchslammed against the wall
pushed against the wall
thrown against the wall
its all the same
it all hurts
makes my skin an unnatural colour
makes my mind unnaturally cluttered
and i cant think
can only feel
pain. pain. pain.
and you think
you think you know
i won\'t do anything
all your punches
all your throws
add to my anger
and one day it will explode
and you will be sorry
you\'d like that, wouldn\'t you?
maybe you wouldn\'t
but its too late now
i\'ve got the power now
the gun is in my pocket
and i am in your house
yelling all this to you
did you listen when i yelled?
did you stop when i screamed?
so i won\'t.
i oughtta teach you a lesson
you filthy piece of shit
my hand is shaking
and sweating too
but i know what i want to do
what i NEED to do
malice is in my veins
and murder in my blood
but your screams fill my ears
my teeth grind
i cant decide
i cannot sympathise with you!
you dont d
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More