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sidestepit never felt so good as when
we sat around our own doubts
and looked at each other through
their purple haze.
i saw a life then, inside a...
no. fuck it. the truth died.
my life held it once, it really did,
but a thought, a single thought
blocked out all others and shades of grey
covered me and then you.
you never forgave me.
once was green, and a girl fell in love
then they lived in a world of their own making
which slowly fell around them. bad
desicions and craftsmanship.
a single thought and it blew away.
i could disgust a person in more ways than one,
there are a million things i could do
right this very moment
but i'll sidestep the problem
and let it all roll by in masked indifference.
i told myself not to look.
now i'm stuck inside out
just waiting for the right moon;
something bigger to show me the way.
isn't that just...?
no. theres no words.
a disappointment, that's what it was.
i wish you would look a little harder,
maybe a little a longer, then i could
feel satisfaction. while they chase and scramble
i will stay here, oblivious.
such a sweet thing could rot my teeth,
instead my spirit dies just a little
just enough of you, to find me lost
just a small favour in a sea of hopelessness
just all this bullshit piling up in order to ignore
the sweet thing turning sour in my mouth.
it's not going to happen, is it?
no. i didn't suppose there were words.
radiancewhere did the starlight go?
tin cans rattling, cards flashing
all different colours
but i just want to know
truth in a lie, where did it come from?
the reason behind this life
or liveliness in the scent of flowers
just because you picked them for me.
stumble to and fro, knocks and blows,
punch-drunk but not loved, not in such a way
that permits one to fall and pick it up again
with blessed little bites and bruises, instead
i sit in a bed, unmoving.
undesired. a precious gem hidden in rock
that no one sees but i feel naked, those
eyes that cut into my flesh. unnerve me.
lie to me.
i awoke this morning to the shape of a shudder
swift in the morning light, nestling
in the lines under my eyes.
and the starlight; beauty shone in it's radiance.
kiss boyssmall drop of honey
to make my lips sweeter
chase after the best prize ever
all about determination
chicken little touching too far
up that creamy white thigh
round the corner, trouble's a brewing
whos scared? i'm not
just a boy, just a girl, playing a game
give us the name
of all the scaredy cats who left this place
when they found out
just how far you had to go.
didnt know how much it would hurt.
we'll make a list and then burn it up
in the fire of our fun, of our love,
while holding each other just like kids,
little buttons of life who don't know
a goddam thing
he squeezed my hand and underneath too
my skirt rode up like crazy but it didn't
seem to bother him
flesh on flesh; touch and go
small drop of honey and a killer of a chase
then maybe i could kiss boys too
Monsterplease, come inside
the warmth in the room
could help me, or you.
think we both have the chills.
got them yesterday
when it moved again
the fragility scared me a little
but it's power over me, well,
that is strength i didn't know
it's funny how fear can take hold
bring everything you never wanted to imagine
into the curve of a belly
so small, and yet...
it strikes terror in my heart.
and i couldn't picture it's face if i tried
but i know the shape of it's clothes well enough
bruiseif the pieces that you just shattered,
and sent crashing to the floor,
could express a truth or meaning in this,
i reckon it would be worth it.
the words escaped your mouth in no line, but
a confused spiel of rage and anger, like a bullet,
hitting me so hard, indenting the shock into my skin
and here i was, thinking that although i had tripped,
fallen a little, i could get back up, keep on going.
no more; i'm bruised and beaten, gone.
we are dead now, a collapsed party.
funny word, as if it were all good times.
my oh my, i am
hurt. so hurt.
it hurts to breathe, it hurts to live
and you can't know, you won't help.
and although i am straying from all this,
with blood on my hands and tears in my eyes
i manage to sit back up again and reach inside my own heart.
a bloody affair, that proves nothing.
i have nothing to show for all of this except,
you will be sorely missed.
bedside manneroh shit.
we've hit a dry spell;
the burn stopped. fizzled,
that's what it did, the fire drying everthing up,
hold on, i'll sweep them away,
it should be that easy.
finger fidgeting with flames and foolish
thoughts about terms of endearment
and how i know the time is right for me
wish i really knew.
i feel like im lying on a table
with lights, faces, fingers,
poking at me, checking my body
making sure the time is right.
you feel so far away from that place;
the desicion is all on me; the pressure
of a man's cold fingers pressing on my chest
assessing my heart, the depth of my love,
and seeing, if that much really is enough.
is it enough for me?
is it even there?
time and place, so crucial
to a thing of this magnitude.
i am thing, you are it, we are us,
and i have to tell you, exactly,
absoulutely, that i
just. don't. know.
but i'm sorry. i know my
bedside manner is a little uncertain,
but i'm getting there.
and that's the best i can hope for.
The Ultimatethe hand shakes.
it's late at night and one would think
and yet i can't.
beliefs have shattered, pieces falling into other places.
what can i do but write? what can i do but
pick and pick at all the intricacies of the nothingness
i live in.
the life lost
oh how the cliche laughs at me
and mocks the tears that flow freely
down the face i thought i knew.
but all the words are dried up now.
but i can find hope in this
in the way i close my eyes to make it go away
and in the way i shudder at all the thoughts
in the way the hand shakes.
if i can still feel...
it is only the ultimate sensation that i fear,
the one of death in all parts.
Discovery- paper thoughtsor shift. i suppose it means the same thing.
language bounces in my dried-up mind
i feel soaked, wrung, hung out to dry
left in the ambiguous wind
have you ever been left in such a place as this?
the air is so warm and sticky
with recycled philosophies on life
that click with names and words that attach themselves to my skin
but they don't matter
nothing is made, there is nothing to hold
grasp at anything; a thought, a reason, a hand
that could hold yours back
and bring comfort into a life without
thought and reason.
look for it, try to grab it through the sea of
absoulutely nothing at all.
the season turned, but i did not.
i made no great discovery;
after all the work, the pain
all there is paper thoughts that mark a
love or solid beliefs or anything
that could make a human being
want to discover more.
i can only write it down.
theres no more than that.
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
Southern modernizationBlack comedy market economy, banana peel political humour, cards with the cartels, the solution free room service and credit the union. Bolivar twist, ding dong dollar under control, valley of the coin desert with no value. Gangsta paradise, the victims are the people. Big mac and cold conflict interference a part of it all. In little Mexico you’d need a high horse to jump the great border wall that boasts its peak.
Viracocha melts waters unlike those it rose from, making waves of out of metal oceans to overtake the current south, re-steel, re-take, tech-mechs the entire south into neo-Machu Picchu, cyberpunk music moulding, reshaping old society into an new age, iron dynasty, fresh coat for an old, ancient look. The coattails of Quetzalcoatl if he were a modern man pull together the merge of future and long passed past..techno temples and the like.
LullabyHush, my baby,
Be still, don't cry.
Lay with me
A little while.
Close your eyes,
Slow your breath.
Hear your heart
Inside your chest?
Your heart is strong,
It guides you well.
Be sure to listen
To what it tells.
I hear him now,
Outside the room.
It won't be long,
He'll find us soon.
Now close your eyes,
Slow your breath,
And rest your head
Upon my chest.
Darkest MoonI celebrate my right to live;
To the dismay of some, perhaps
It should be noted
These words I write, however true
Are only portions of the moon
I’ve decide to shine light upon.
But who am I to preach respect?
Who Am I to preach equality?
An advocate for re-personification
Of the female gender
But exhibits cannibalistic characteristics
Within dark spaces.
I am a shadow
Hidden within an Eggshell, painted pink,
Waiting to hatch.
Is the darkness
The night brought upon us.
You Were Born Missing SomethingYour skin is glazed with crystals of frost
and your heart's valves are close to
freezing shut tight
from being devoid of something
Though I am torrents of hail, whirling storms,
warm tears streaking,and tornadoes of rage
that flow uncontrollably through my veins
and out of my mouth,
every breath near you is warm
because your words are so cold
I am a natural disaster at its finest
with bones twisted in painful angles
and a crooked spine
you were born spineless
Predators of the nightA gust of wind
Blowing through our hair
The dead leaves
Cracking under our feet
The night sky
A blanket over our heads
And the full moon
Blessing us with its silver light
A perfect night for us hunters
To look for our prey
it was a broken sense of beautifulhis smile was like dust caught
in sunlight; more like a dreamy state
of being than reality, like the half-
remembered yesterday that still haunts your
memories because you
didn't want to forget how it
we'd lie on the floor with
slats of light shot across the ceiling, drinking
in the atmosphere
with windows propped open by
books and yellowed pages,
and by the time
we wandered into sleep, we were drunk instead
smell of roses --
he was a broken kind of beautiful, a
beautiful kind of flawed; love-letters, anonymous
and never sent littered
the dusty floorboards beneath his
of what we were before
love found it's way
back around; hours passed in a sunset haze
as my fingers ghosted over words
he'd written half-asleep, ink smudged on his fingers --
they say the music
comes when your heart's about to break, more
like a whimper than a bang; but i've
never heard a song so
sweet, and this sense of lovely has found it's home
inside my bones --
flinchslammed against the wall
pushed against the wall
thrown against the wall
its all the same
it all hurts
makes my skin an unnatural colour
makes my mind unnaturally cluttered
and i cant think
can only feel
pain. pain. pain.
and you think
you think you know
i won\'t do anything
all your punches
all your throws
add to my anger
and one day it will explode
and you will be sorry
you\'d like that, wouldn\'t you?
maybe you wouldn\'t
but its too late now
i\'ve got the power now
the gun is in my pocket
and i am in your house
yelling all this to you
did you listen when i yelled?
did you stop when i screamed?
so i won\'t.
i oughtta teach you a lesson
you filthy piece of shit
my hand is shaking
and sweating too
but i know what i want to do
what i NEED to do
malice is in my veins
and murder in my blood
but your screams fill my ears
my teeth grind
i cant decide
i cannot sympathise with you!
you dont d
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