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sidestepit never felt so good as when
we sat around our own doubts
and looked at each other through
their purple haze.
i saw a life then, inside a...
no. fuck it. the truth died.
my life held it once, it really did,
but a thought, a single thought
blocked out all others and shades of grey
covered me and then you.
you never forgave me.
once was green, and a girl fell in love
then they lived in a world of their own making
which slowly fell around them. bad
desicions and craftsmanship.
a single thought and it blew away.
i could disgust a person in more ways than one,
there are a million things i could do
right this very moment
but i'll sidestep the problem
and let it all roll by in masked indifference.
i told myself not to look.
now i'm stuck inside out
just waiting for the right moon;
something bigger to show me the way.
isn't that just...?
no. theres no words.
a disappointment, that's what it was.
i wish you would look a little harder,
maybe a little a longer, then i could
feel satisfaction. while they chase and scramble
i will stay here, oblivious.
such a sweet thing could rot my teeth,
instead my spirit dies just a little
just enough of you, to find me lost
just a small favour in a sea of hopelessness
just all this bullshit piling up in order to ignore
the sweet thing turning sour in my mouth.
it's not going to happen, is it?
no. i didn't suppose there were words.
radiancewhere did the starlight go?
tin cans rattling, cards flashing
all different colours
but i just want to know
truth in a lie, where did it come from?
the reason behind this life
or liveliness in the scent of flowers
just because you picked them for me.
stumble to and fro, knocks and blows,
punch-drunk but not loved, not in such a way
that permits one to fall and pick it up again
with blessed little bites and bruises, instead
i sit in a bed, unmoving.
undesired. a precious gem hidden in rock
that no one sees but i feel naked, those
eyes that cut into my flesh. unnerve me.
lie to me.
i awoke this morning to the shape of a shudder
swift in the morning light, nestling
in the lines under my eyes.
and the starlight; beauty shone in it's radiance.
kiss boyssmall drop of honey
to make my lips sweeter
chase after the best prize ever
all about determination
chicken little touching too far
up that creamy white thigh
round the corner, trouble's a brewing
whos scared? i'm not
just a boy, just a girl, playing a game
give us the name
of all the scaredy cats who left this place
when they found out
just how far you had to go.
didnt know how much it would hurt.
we'll make a list and then burn it up
in the fire of our fun, of our love,
while holding each other just like kids,
little buttons of life who don't know
a goddam thing
he squeezed my hand and underneath too
my skirt rode up like crazy but it didn't
seem to bother him
flesh on flesh; touch and go
small drop of honey and a killer of a chase
then maybe i could kiss boys too
Monsterplease, come inside
the warmth in the room
could help me, or you.
think we both have the chills.
got them yesterday
when it moved again
the fragility scared me a little
but it's power over me, well,
that is strength i didn't know
it's funny how fear can take hold
bring everything you never wanted to imagine
into the curve of a belly
so small, and yet...
it strikes terror in my heart.
and i couldn't picture it's face if i tried
but i know the shape of it's clothes well enough
bruiseif the pieces that you just shattered,
and sent crashing to the floor,
could express a truth or meaning in this,
i reckon it would be worth it.
the words escaped your mouth in no line, but
a confused spiel of rage and anger, like a bullet,
hitting me so hard, indenting the shock into my skin
and here i was, thinking that although i had tripped,
fallen a little, i could get back up, keep on going.
no more; i'm bruised and beaten, gone.
we are dead now, a collapsed party.
funny word, as if it were all good times.
my oh my, i am
hurt. so hurt.
it hurts to breathe, it hurts to live
and you can't know, you won't help.
and although i am straying from all this,
with blood on my hands and tears in my eyes
i manage to sit back up again and reach inside my own heart.
a bloody affair, that proves nothing.
i have nothing to show for all of this except,
you will be sorely missed.
bedside manneroh shit.
we've hit a dry spell;
the burn stopped. fizzled,
that's what it did, the fire drying everthing up,
hold on, i'll sweep them away,
it should be that easy.
finger fidgeting with flames and foolish
thoughts about terms of endearment
and how i know the time is right for me
wish i really knew.
i feel like im lying on a table
with lights, faces, fingers,
poking at me, checking my body
making sure the time is right.
you feel so far away from that place;
the desicion is all on me; the pressure
of a man's cold fingers pressing on my chest
assessing my heart, the depth of my love,
and seeing, if that much really is enough.
is it enough for me?
is it even there?
time and place, so crucial
to a thing of this magnitude.
i am thing, you are it, we are us,
and i have to tell you, exactly,
absoulutely, that i
just. don't. know.
but i'm sorry. i know my
bedside manner is a little uncertain,
but i'm getting there.
and that's the best i can hope for.
The Ultimatethe hand shakes.
it's late at night and one would think
and yet i can't.
beliefs have shattered, pieces falling into other places.
what can i do but write? what can i do but
pick and pick at all the intricacies of the nothingness
i live in.
the life lost
oh how the cliche laughs at me
and mocks the tears that flow freely
down the face i thought i knew.
but all the words are dried up now.
but i can find hope in this
in the way i close my eyes to make it go away
and in the way i shudder at all the thoughts
in the way the hand shakes.
if i can still feel...
it is only the ultimate sensation that i fear,
the one of death in all parts.
Discovery- paper thoughtsor shift. i suppose it means the same thing.
language bounces in my dried-up mind
i feel soaked, wrung, hung out to dry
left in the ambiguous wind
have you ever been left in such a place as this?
the air is so warm and sticky
with recycled philosophies on life
that click with names and words that attach themselves to my skin
but they don't matter
nothing is made, there is nothing to hold
grasp at anything; a thought, a reason, a hand
that could hold yours back
and bring comfort into a life without
thought and reason.
look for it, try to grab it through the sea of
absoulutely nothing at all.
the season turned, but i did not.
i made no great discovery;
after all the work, the pain
all there is paper thoughts that mark a
love or solid beliefs or anything
that could make a human being
want to discover more.
i can only write it down.
theres no more than that.
Bridge ClosedIn the city of spires
thrust upward through the body of cloud
a piercing spike of adrenalin,
as the wind fondly ruffles her hair,
doesn't stop her from jumping up.
Reaching to be seen or saved,
by a city that blinks and misses her -
a temporary peak on the skyline.
Doesn't stop her from slamming
into the steel slashes
of the trainline below.
Even the most beautiful places
to those blinded by the inside-out-agony
of breathing against their will.
The city of spires remember her
as the cause for a bridge closed
on a Sunday.
Poem for My 2nd Semester English Teacher(Short v.)You stapled these words to the page.
Like a modern day tyrant,
You denied them the little humanity
You trapped their souls into
And threw them to the curb,
I understand that certain things
Should be left Inhuman
But we even give hurricanes names.
You taught us to separate the person from the art,
But if the art is about that person, you can’t pull them apart
FlamesThere are flames where
his head should be -
a poem left in the fireplace,
a dressing gown, a pipe,
forty pieces of silver.
This man promised you a winter
so warm and bountiful
spring would be ashamed.
He called you by name -
not the one that father knew
shoved under his bible.
But the one left behind
in the branches,
in the bucket of brambles,
and the columbines
buried at your feet.
Stones on the battlefield,
surrender in the grass.
What did his face
even look like behind the curtain,
counting those coins
and loosening the damp earth
from your shoes?
FriendshipFriendship is a tapestry
Woven through the years
With threads of joy and laughter
Happiness and tears
It's a work of art so priceless
It's shared by a precious few
Yet so easily created
By a loving friend like you
a love poemlike a dictionary ripe
with salted, sun spotted
words that emanate power
and splendor, i am unable
to describe you.
each one of us carries cemeteries beneath our skinyou are not the only one
to walk like there are
who looks both ways
before crossing the road
"knew a girl who";
you are alive
and you will experience
hurt, and you will
be so thankful
for every painful breath you take
because it's better than when
everything goes quiet
and all you feel is exhaustion.
there is more than just
one cold snap
before you enter
the winter of your life.
there are spells
of sadness and rage,
hate and denial
of all that you know
and all that you deserve;
and you are not the only one
to fight for everyday you are here,
alive and breathing
and striving to thrive
on such an unforgiving planet,
in such a world
that births emotional deserts
in its people;
you are not the only one
The lighthouseOn the top of the cliff
Facing the endless blue ocean
There is a place
Where a bright light shines
Guiding people through the night
And through the storm
A place of mystery and wonder
A sight to behold
Let its light guide you
So you can find happiness
to nurse doe (whom we all know) i watched her
blood orange heart
cleanse and suture
old bullet wounds and
new bouts of lilacs,
lime, and blue
her alcohol and aloe
flinchslammed against the wall
pushed against the wall
thrown against the wall
its all the same
it all hurts
makes my skin an unnatural colour
makes my mind unnaturally cluttered
and i cant think
can only feel
pain. pain. pain.
and you think
you think you know
i won\'t do anything
all your punches
all your throws
add to my anger
and one day it will explode
and you will be sorry
you\'d like that, wouldn\'t you?
maybe you wouldn\'t
but its too late now
i\'ve got the power now
the gun is in my pocket
and i am in your house
yelling all this to you
did you listen when i yelled?
did you stop when i screamed?
so i won\'t.
i oughtta teach you a lesson
you filthy piece of shit
my hand is shaking
and sweating too
but i know what i want to do
what i NEED to do
malice is in my veins
and murder in my blood
but your screams fill my ears
my teeth grind
i cant decide
i cannot sympathise with you!
you dont d
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More